


see me through another day

by farfromthstars



Series: eddie diaz week 2021 [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Earthquakes, Eddie Diaz Week 2021, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29863752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farfromthstars/pseuds/farfromthstars
Summary: The thought of being alone down here, maybe having to wait for the inevitable next aftershock to finally put an end to it, is an awful one, but there’s hope for Buck. He’s got to make sure Buck gets out of here, gets to live, even if it’s the last thing he does. It’s both the hardest decision of his life and not a question at all.-eddie diaz week day 5: “Please don’t do this.” + sacrifice
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: eddie diaz week 2021 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188779
Comments: 31
Kudos: 249





	see me through another day

When the dust settles, Eddie has a brief moment of disorientation, not sure where he is, before it all comes rushing back. The earthquake, their call to the evacuation of a residential building in immediate danger of collapse, him and Buck on their way to the basement to check for survivors, the aftershock-

“Buck!” he calls, panicked, taking in the rubble from the collapsed ceiling all around him. “Buck!”

“I’m here,” comes the answering groan, but Eddie can’t see him. Still, relief washes over him like a tidal wave. Buck’s alive. “I’m here, Eddie, are you okay?”

For the first time since he came to, Eddie takes stock of his body, feeling for aches or pressure. “I think so,” he calls back, “a few bumps and bruises, but nothing major as far as I can tell. What about you?”

“Same. How’s your head? I think you were out for at least a few seconds, you didn’t reply when I called your name.”

Eddie winces at the way Buck’s voice shakes, knows what he would’ve felt like if he’d had to wait for Buck’s answer any longer than he did. “Okay, I think,” he says, running his fingers along the edge of his helmet. “There’s no blood and no dizziness.”

“Good.” Buck’s voice sounds a little further away now. “But where the hell are you?”

Eddie pushes himself up into a standing position to examine his surroundings. The ceiling hasn’t come down completely, Eddie was clearly lucky to be standing under a support beam that fulfilled its job, creating a sort of tunnel in between piles of rubble that don’t seem to end. Judging from the amount of it, the whole building may have come down, which isn’t great. If they’re buried underneath an entire building, it’ll be hard for their team or the others on site to locate them, and even harder to get them out.

“Have you tried your radio?” he asks Buck.

“Yeah, didn’t work. What about yours?”

Eddie presses the button to speak. “This is Diaz, 118. Come in.”  
Nothing.

“We may be too far away,” Buck says. “It looks like the building was hit pretty hard, maybe the signal can’t get through.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, carefully touching what looks like a piece of bathroom floor. It shifts and the whole pile rumbles ominously, so he quickly takes his hands off. “Hey, Buck? I think we’re on opposite sides of this pile of rubble.”

“I think so too. Looks pretty unstable, though.”

“Yeah, let’s not touch it until we’ve assessed it.”

The assessment on Eddie’s side is quickly done: if he moves anything at all, he risks the pile collapsing and burying either him or Buck. He’s stuck in a narrow space between two unstable piles that meet the ceiling above him, no windows or doors or much wriggle room at all. 

Eddie closes his eyes for a second. There’s no way out for him.

“I think I can see the door!” Buck calls out, and Eddie opens his eyes again. “It’s blocked by this large piece of ceiling, but if we manage to shift it up a bit I’m sure we could crawl through.”

“Can you see what’s on the other side?”

From the sound of it, Buck is on the floor, peering through what must be a small hole.

“The hallway is blocked on the left side, but the right side looks okay, I think I can even see the stairs. Eddie, I really think it’s only the left side of the house that has collapsed. If we get the door free, we can get out!”

Eddie rubs at his chin, trying to get his hands to stop trembling. The hope in Buck’s voice feels like a punch to his gut right now. The thought of being alone down here, maybe having to wait for the inevitable next aftershock to finally put an end to it, is an awful one, but there’s hope for Buck. He’s got to make sure Buck gets out of here, gets to live, even if it’s the last thing he does. It’s both the hardest decision of his life and not a question at all.

He places his hand on the large chunk of debris right by the wall that must be what’s blocking the door on Buck’s side too. It’s big, but if he frees some space below it, he’s pretty sure he’ll be able to push it down on his side, and - like a seesaw - up on Buck’s so the hole by the door is big enough for Buck to crawl through.

He relays this plan to Buck, who is silent for a minute before he asks, “But how will you get out then?”

Eddie swallows, tries to keep his voice steady. “Buck. If I move anything on this pile to make a path over to you, the whole thing will collapse. I’m on the collapsed side of the building, everything is unstable, it’s a miracle I’m even still alive - one wrong move, one aftershock, and that’s it. But you’ve got a good chance, and if we hurry I can help you get out. But we need to hurry, you hear me? So you’re out of here before the next aftershock.”

“No,” Buck says. “Eddie, no. I’m not leaving without you.”

“Yes, you are,” Eddie says with more conviction than he feels. He doesn’t want to die, doesn’t want Buck to leave - why did they separate to check the basement, why couldn’t they have been on the same side of the roof when the ceiling collapsed- “I’m not letting you die down here when we both know you don’t have to.”

“You can’t die either!” Buck yells. “What about- think about Christopher!”

“You think I’m not? I wish- I wish there was another way to do this, a way to save us both, but it’s either you or none of us, and I won’t let that happen!”

“Eddie, please,” Buck sounds desperate, and Eddie wishes things were different, would give anything to wake up from this nightmare. “Please. We’ll figure something out.”

“We don’t have the time! You need to get out of here as quickly as possible, and this is the only way. There are no windows, no other doors. I don’t want to die either, but the only thing worse would be you dying too when I know that I can save you.”

“Eddie,” Buck is sobbing now, and Eddie’s own face is wet from his tears. “Please don’t do this.”

“Tell Christopher,” Eddie starts, but his voice breaks. “Tell Christopher I love him, okay? I wish-” 

He breaks off, crying, because there is too much he wishes he got to be there for, too much he hasn’t done yet. He hasn’t even told Buck-

Most of all, he hates that he won’t get to see his son grow up. That he has to leave him the same way Shannon did. It’s not fair, when his kid has had to go through so much already.

“Tell him I’m sorry I had to go. And that everything will be alright.”

“Tell him yourself! I won’t let you do this, Eddie!”

“Buck,” Eddie says quietly. “There’s nothing you can do.”

Buck’s sobs tear at his heart and Eddie _hates_ this, hates everything about this-

“I love you,” Buck chokes out. “I can’t do this without you.”

“Yes, you can. Buck, I- I wish I had told you earlier, but I’m so happy we moved here, despite everything, because it gave me, gave us - you. And I-”

“No, stop saying goodbye,” Buck interrupts him. “Please, Eddie, please, I promise I’ll think of something-”

The pile shifts and the first pieces of debris start falling when Eddie moves the first brick from under the ceiling piece.

“Get ready, Buck,” he orders, and carefully wriggles another bit free, ducking out of the way when something drops from above him.

“Stop!” Buck starts screaming on the other side now, “Eddie, no! Stop!”

Eddie doesn’t, keeps digging out rubble to free the space below the chunk of ceiling, tears streaming down his face at the pure agony in Buck’s voice, the feeling echoing in his own chest. A rock hits the side of his face and now there’s blood mixing with his tears, but he keeps going.

“Save yourself, Buck,” he chokes out. “Please, do it for me.”

With his entire weight, he hangs onto the side of the ceiling piece, feels it shift and desperately hopes it’s enough.

“Go!”, he yells, and then everything goes black.

~

He wakes up to a steady beeping and fluorescent light that makes him want to cover his eyes even though they’re already closed.

His first conscious thought is, _I’m alive_ , and the second is, _Buck_.

He must make a noise, because someone on his right side is moving, their hand covering his and squeezing.

“Eddie?”

It’s Buck’s voice, _Buck is here_ , and Eddie forces his eyes open, darting around the hospital room and settling on Buck, who’s there in a hoodie with red eyes and scratches on his face, but he’s alive, he’s _alive-_

“Buck,” he sobs out, tears spilling over and down his cheeks already, “Buck.”

“I’m here,” Buck says, scrambling closer and pressing his forehead to Eddie’s, his hands cradling Eddie’s face impossibly gently, wiping the tears away. “Eddie, I’m here.”

“You’re alive,” Eddie marvels, lifting his own hand to press it to Buck’s chest, right over his heart.

“I’m alive,” Buck confirms, placing his hand over Eddie’s and holding it there, letting him feel the steady beat of his heart. “ _You’re_ alive. No thanks to you.”

“How did you get me out?”

“We were lucky,” Buck says quietly, settling on the edge of Eddie’s bed and still holding Eddie’s hand to his chest. “You were right, of course, there was another aftershock and the rest of the basement collapsed too, I barely got out before it hit. The ceiling piece you were moving fell on you and some rocks you had piled up around you and created a sort of pocket just big enough to protect you from the rest of the debris. When I got out, they were prepping the thermal cameras already anyway to look for missing people, and that’s how we located you. There was so much debris, Eddie, I thought for sure...but we dug you out. There was no way we were leaving you down there when there was still a chance-”

Buck’s voice breaks and Eddie moves his thumb on Buck’s chest in an effort to comfort him. His right arm feels too heavy to lift an inch.

“I had to make sure you got out of there,” he whispers, and Buck closes his eyes.

“I know. I just wish we’d gotten out together.” He lifts Eddie’s hand off his chest and presses a kiss to his palm. Embarrassingly, the beeping of the heart monitor speeds up and Eddie watches the corner of Buck’s mouth turn up into a small smile.

“Christopher?”

“He’s in school,” Buck explains. “We figured it would be best to keep things as normal as possible for him, you know? He was here yesterday and Abuela said she’d bring him again today.”

Eddie’s brow furrows. “How long was I out for?”

“They put you in a medically induced coma for a day because you had some swelling in your brain, but it looks like you’re gonna be fine with some rest. You’ve just been sleeping for the past couple of hours - you were awake for a few minutes earlier, I gave you something to drink but I don’t think you were really here yet. They told me that was normal and that you’d be fine the next time you woke up, and it looks like they were right about that too. You just have to stay so they can monitor you for a little longer. A light concussion, a sprained shoulder, some cuts and bruises, that’s it.”

It’s scary to think that he was already awake once and doesn’t remember, but it does explain why he’s not feeling particularly thirsty. And if Buck was here, he knows he was in the best hands.

“What about you?”

“Cuts and bruises as well, and I twisted my ankle somehow, but I’m fine.”

“Have you been here this whole time?”

Buck shrugs a little sheepishly. “Almost. Maddie made me go home for a shower and some sleep last night because you were still sedated and the nurses kicked me out anyway, but I...I wanted to make sure you were okay. And that I was here when you woke up.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” Eddie tells him. “Listen, Buck, I didn’t say it yesterday because it felt cruel when I...when I was about to die and I knew I would never get you to leave if I said it, but. I love you, too. I’m in love with you, and I should’ve told you sooner-”

He breaks off when Buck kisses his hand again, his knuckles this time, and Eddie’s heart spills over with love for him.

“I don’t care,” Buck says, “if you could’ve told me sooner. We’re here now, together, you love me and I love you-”

“I love you,” Eddie says again, just because he can, and Buck laughs, and then his mouth is on Eddie’s, finally.

The heart monitor goes crazy next to them and Buck grins against his lips, but Eddie doesn’t care. He just cups the back of Buck’s head and keeps kissing him. They both made it out. They’re alive.

**Author's Note:**

> i don’t usually write angst so i don’t know if this hits the mark (though it did for me while writing if i'm honest) - please let me know if i can check off the life goal of making someone cry with a fic!  
> and come yell with on [tumblr](https://buckactuallys.tumblr.com/)?


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